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Mar. 14th, 2010


Okayy.. Hello again..

I havent done one of these in a while..

In my last diary journal, I said that my coursework and GCSE.. well basically. FML..

But actually after writing that journal, Parents evening came along, and actually.. Im doing VERY well :)

I cannot be bothered to tell you my grades, but basically im getting from E - A*.

I am veryyyyy proud of myself, But still i am pushing myself to get higher. Doing coursework at home, stopping in at dinner's. Doing coursework. Any spare time i get my hands on, im working,, but heyy.. I guess life is all about working.

Yes, life is good atm..

I nolonger have debt to be paid off,
Im free.. Free i tell you..

My next challege is to get all coursework done, progress, etc.

Its sunday night, school tomorrow.. Actually its rather depressing to think in 10 hours from now, ill be in a classroom. I think its time for bed soon, now ive figured that one out anyway.

Right darlings, Until next time.. Cyahh <3


Mar. 2nd, 2010

My school life is coming to an end=//


What do I feel?
Emotions rushing through my head.

There is so much going on,
Busyyy busyy busyy..

GCSE this, GCSE that..
Grade Pressures,

God.. Im so stressed.

But somebody is cheering me up and making my school days better (;
Callum <3

Feb. 13th, 2010


How would you describe inspiration? (comment, let me know).

So we all find somebody or something inspiring, but what is that and why? This is what I ask myself.

For example, I find Fashion inspiring, models, etc, Hairstyles,

What  makes those things so inspiring?

I find Fashion is everything, without fashion where would we be?

Clothing, Hairstyles, INDIVIDUALITY.
Can you imagine a world without fashion and the way its expanding? I cant.

Just think.. walking down the street, everybody wearing the same.. Individuality Dead.

God!! Its horrid, If your like me, im actually starting to imagine in my head what that  would be like. 
Walking down the High Street, Town Centre, Everybody wearing jeans and a top. Its just not tasty.

No accessories, nothing.. God.. just No!

I love the way... how fashion is extending..

So.. the question is..

What do you find inspiring? 
(comment.. let me know).

Thanks, Joshyyy x

Feb. 9th, 2010

Fighting For Success

To much of anything, can make you sick....

Thats what today is about I suppose,
Okay.. in school, I'm doing rather well..

English - C (retaking to get higher).
Science - D (retaking to get higher).
I.C.T - A*, Cant really get any better than that (;
BTEC Business - CC, (getting as good as I can).
R.E - C, - Dont know whether to retake or not.

maths - but fat F!!.. but hey.. i will get a better grade.. I just need to get my mind to it. Its gonna take time, but doesn't everything you desire.

So school is going alright at the moment, some days are better than others... but aren't every bodies.

Today I officially met the new girl, Lexie. Beautiful name <3 

She seems lovely.. really nice actually. She could be yet another of my fag hags, love it. I'm just so happy she'l fallen in with us, the right crowd of people, instead of those that are out there to ruin lives I suppose. I just really do like her, Were kind of on a really good patch at the moment, were sharing thoughts, interests, etc. What im hearing is amazing, Really good. I just hope she decides to stick with us. No pressure like :),
Also Lexie.. i know your gonna read this.. Open up.. Be loud, I Dont care. Im crazy, join in. (:
So yeah.. Welcome lexie.

Speak Soon, lovely journal readers..

Joshyyy xx

Feb. 3rd, 2010

New York inspires me. Whats your dream?

Everybody has dreams,
There all different,
Inspiring, Depressing, Logical and personal.

You think to yourself.. I would like to do this.. I would like to acomplish something.

A dream you have, you want to become a reality. <3

Well like everybody else, I have a dream.. but heyy so did Susan Boyle, ahah.
She achieved her dream, now its time for mine to be accomplished..

New York.

The lights, the noise, the atmosphere, the life there.

NewYork is the most inspiring place in the world to me. I would love to go there, see things, do things, eat things, watch things.

When i go to New York because i will. I am just going to walk round all day, everywhere, anywhere. My mission will be to get lost.

My friend Dannielle Phillips, also shares my dream of going and seeing and even feeling newyork. Feeling NewYork emotionally obviously. New York crime is very high, one of the worst cities of the most horrid crimes. That doesnt bother me, This sound weird and rather creepy but i would love to well not see but hear about crime in new york. New York just makes me feel real, I feel like i am supposed to be there. In New York, living in New York, working in New York.

New York is where my life begins,
Lets see what happends :)

Joshyyy x

Feb. 1st, 2010

Not good.

Okay.. its time..

Its time for me to open up to you all, this may be emotional..

I feel worthless, like i shouldnt be here. Im an easy target, a bomb waiting to go off. I think im on the process of having a breakdown and im serious.

Im scared.. Im scared of loosing all will to live. =/

My life at the moment, is like a rollercoaster... but with more drops than lifts. I just feel completely and utterly bored of trying, I just want to escape you know...
But i dont know how,

Death.. not for me..
I just need to get out.. Run away for a while.

I think its time i think about this quite seriously...
I do think though honestly.. Im having a breakdown..

Have you noticed a difference in my behaviour? etc, Please.. please.. let me know?


Joshyyy x

Jan. 30th, 2010

Self Confidence.

Well.. hello there,

Today i have woken up feeling energyless. I have been thinking what i have to do today and what i could do today. That keys in with the title of this entry. "Self Confidence". Okay, so today.. I have to bleach my roots, There terrible. So yeah.. today i have to enjoy some slight pain and itching.. Not tasty, honestly. So apart from the hair bleaching.. I also have to do quite a bit i do suppose. I have to fix a computer, for a family friend. Im in one of those moods, where i could just sleep all day but actually i wouldnt be able too.. I am one of those people yahh'see where once im awake, i cant get back to sleep until at like 15 hours later.. Body fuck up. yes, i know..

So apart from that, today seems like it could be a good day.
Wonder if that changes.

We'l See,

Joshyyy x

Jan. 29th, 2010

Have you ever wondered?

Okay.. So this is Me, Josh..

Im here because i want to be remembered.
That sounds depressing but heyy.. thats my view on this.

So today.. i have called this entry.. Have you ever wondered?

You may ask yourself, what i mean by this.. Well ill tell you.

Have you ever just sat there and wondered, "where will i be and what will i be doing in 5 years"?
Well, i think about this quite alot.

My aim for five years time from now, Is too.. Get into college, Computer Maintainence, Finish my course. Become like a stupid geek at computers, but a geek with fashion sense, ahah. So anyway.. Then i would like to have a car, and think about moving to New York.

My dream is to live in New York City,
with all the lights and romance.

A quote "Im in newyork searching for the Two BIG L's (Labels and Love)".
Okay, so falling in love sounds nice right about now.

I have this image of my life, it sounds very nice.. but the reality is, it isnt going to happen how i want it. Yes, clearly there is gonna be complications.. Yahh'know..

If you have known me for some years, you should remember me saying.. "Ill be dead by the time im 20".
Yes, depressing i know.
but back in those days, i didnt really have a view on life. Didnt care about anything, But since then.. ive came out of my shell.

Im just so worried about the future, Are you?

Joshyyy x